"The clowns are alright, they just seem a little weird."
I'm not sure what the hell the deal is, but clowns are all over the news lately. Creeps dressing up like clowns and waving at people in the middle of the night; clowns robbing stores; clowns trying to lure kids into the woods, clowns chasing people... WTF is up with these clowns?!?
Clowns are pretty big in movies lately too. Eli Roth's Clown finally came out for the masses; Rob Zombie's 31 was alright; and this little ditty, ClownTown is hitting VOD just in time for Halloween.
If clowns terrify you, it truly is a great time to be alive. Or a horrible one, depending
ClownTown opens with a sexy babysitter sending the kids she's watching to bed. Then she randomly gets naked (in someone else's house while watching their kids?), which of course leads her to being stabbed to death by one one of the creepy little bastards that are supposed to be in bed. This is all obviously a Halloween nod.
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| A HALLOWEEN NOD WITH BIKINIS, MIND YOU. |
Years later (we're not sure how many), two couples are on their way to a Winger reunion concert, when one of the girls loses their cellphone. They call it, and some guy answers and tells them to meet him the next town over and he'll give the phone back. Since it sounds like such a safe and logical idea, the crew heads to the town, which is deserted, and instead of saying "You know what, I'll call the cellphone company, report it stolen, and they can send me a new one", they wait in the center of town at a gazebo... all day, until well after nightfall, for this guy to show up.
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| AND THEN THEY SHOW UP. |
When they finally decide to leave so as not to be late for their concert, their car won't start... because this is ClownTown! Yeah, the town is filled with killer clowns who come out after sundown, and kill anyone who doesn't obey their curfew.
Typical stalk-and-slash antics ensue.
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| WILL SHE AND HER FANTASTIC SWEATER KITTENS SURVIVE? GOOD GOD, WE HOPE SO. |
ClownTown isn't particularly well-written, and a lot of the acting is suspect, but we found it pretty enjoyable for what it was: a cheap, B-grade movie that breaks no new ground whatsoever, but gives a liberally creepy dose of killer clowns. If that's your thing.
Lauren Compton was good (as far as both looks and screams go) as the movie's Final Girl, and we're sure we'll be seeing her again on the Horror scene. The standout in this movie though was David Greathouse's Baseball Clown character; the tall, lanky, Javier Botet-looking clown with the permanent evil grin was genuinely unsettling and imposing in appearance. Not sure why they couldn't give the guy a better name than Baseball Clown, but he felt iconic to us, insofar as killer clown flicks go.
The movie also did the stalk-and-slash thing pretty well, the whole characters-making-ridiculously-stupid-decisions-that-kept-them-in-danger thing aside.
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| THIS GUY WAS SERIOUSLY CREEPY. |
There are some pretty good kills in this one which are creepier than they should be, because they're all pulled off by clowns. There could have been more violence though, especially in a movie that isn't very plot heavy.
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| WE COULDN'T FIND ANY SCREENSHOTS WITH GORE IN THEM, SO HERE'S SOME MORE OF LAUREN COMPTON. |
Kaitlyn Sapp shows her goods, and she is lovely. Lauren Compton and Katie Keene were looking good too, but they stayed clothed.
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| GRATUITOUS, YET SOMEHOW NECESSARY. |
Listen, sometimes movies that require us to turn off our brains for 90-minutes and just enjoy them for what they are, and while ClownTown isn't perfect, or even arguably good, it was fun on the level on which it operates.
ClownTown is a decent enough movie, it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. If clowns scare the hell out of you though, this is definitely one to check out.
C
ClownTown is available now on DVD and VOD.
The coulrophobic girls of ClownTown.
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